Interview by Kristina Horinková
I’m from Berlin, 20 years old. I really love acting and doing nails. I love philosophy and physics, but also painting and creating things.
I like reading a lot about theoretical physics and especially astrophysics. I feel like it relates to philosophy to a certain extent because there comes a point in astrophysics where we just don’t know what is going on.
What inspired you to do art?
I was basically breastfed on stage. My mom is an opera singer, my dad was a director and a theater photographer. My grandparents are directors and conductors in the opera. My other grandparents were butchers (laugh), but they sing in a choir. My aunt is an actress, my brother’s a graphic designer, my sibling’s a photographer, and then the other brother’s a neurosurgeon, so he’s a bit of a wild one.
What’s your favorite movie and why did it speak to you so much?
It’s funny cause it’s animated, so there’s not really any acting except voice acting to it, but it’s called Mind Game. For me it’s about wanting to live and accept life for whatever it is, if that’s good or bad. I don’t wanna only strive for happy moments. It can be kind of harmful because then you get so caught up in the badness when it’s bad. I think just accepting both the positive and negative and seeing that as a part of a whole, I feel like that’s kind of what that movie does for me.
I think striving for happiness is almost like a capitalist kind of way of thinking. It’s like you only want one thing and only this one thing has value. But if you’ve ever been severely depressed, you don’t feel anything and coming out of that, I think any emotion is valuable because you know what it’s like to not have any of that.
What has shaped you the most?
I acted professionally for six years, which I think did a lot more harm than good at the time. I was going to 50 castings and only getting two jobs. Usually, it doesn’t have to do anything with you, they’re just looking for something else. It messes with your ego, especially at a young age. And then there were comments that people made about my body, the way I looked and all these kinds of things that got to me for a while.
However, I think the one thing that has happened and is changing my life right now is the decision to drop out. I’ve had more time to focus on doing people’s nails and I feel like I’ve progressed so much in a really short amount of time. It didn’t feel right anymore at some point. I came here because I have so many interests, that’s also the reason why I’m leaving is because I feel like there is not really much room for me here to be creative outside of university, because it’s just so time consuming.
Soon I’m going back to Berlin, I’m gonna work at a nail salon and go back into acting as well and then potentially study next year.
For a while I struggled a lot with my depression and I didn’t know how to move forward. But the one thing that I always find the most comforting are communal experiences, learning to appreciate everyone around you and seeing how that is actually kind of beautiful. We’re all here, at the end of the day. We can share our shit and make it a bit less shit (laugh). Once you start opening up to other people, everything is just a bit easier.
If you were to give yourself advice, what would it be?
Slow down and also recenter around my body. I feel like sometimes I overthink a lot and then I get so stuck in my head that I am not really thinking, I’m not really living. That sounds really corny, but it’s true. I think that feeling your body and living with your body, navigating the world through what your body actually feels instead of what you think is really important. I think that’s also the way I made the decision to leave – it wasn’t like none of it made sense. I only have a year left technically, but it just didn’t sit well in my body and I think it’s really good that I listened to that. So follow your intuition.
Is there someone who inspires you?
I think everyone has something that they bring, everyone has like a spark in them somewhere. I think when people are passionate about something, that’s really beautiful and it makes me want to follow my passions.
What bothers you about the world today?
The biggest thing that bothers me about the world and Europe is individualism. I think it’s really harmful. I think that’s part of the reason I want to go back to Germany. There’s something very beautiful in living collectively and relying on one another and being there for each other. We don’t really cherish that enough.
What’s your philosophy in life?
Staying open. Sharing and letting other people share with you, but that also sounds corny (laugh).
The Herring 